Alright, folks, let me tell you a thing or two about this thing called dating. It’s rough. It’s fun. But most of all— it’s all sorts of frustrating. Yeah, being a single woman in 2016 isn’t as enjoyable as devouring a piece of chocolate soufflé cake with whipped cream on top (yum) — it’s more like a dating roulette game that’ll keep you guessing and pulling your arm hairs out.

But what happens when a Jewish French Moroccan man and an Israeli American woman go on a date in the city of dreams, Los Angeles? It’s what I like to call the Matburrata — an aftertaste experience resembling that of the spicy Moroccan salad dish called Matbucha, and the mouthwatering soft Italian cheese, Burrata. (Work with me here, I’ve got a point…and more about that cheese in a later post)

You see, in a normal world and a typical scenario, when two mature adults with similar interests get together for an evening out in town, it is common for the male species to pretend to behave like a gentleman. On this specific night, however, the complete opposite occurred. What started off as a classy attempt to impress, resulted in a bitter aftertaste (like that of the Matbucha).

The Scenario

Guy and girl meet on a dating app, text for about a month and continuously plan to meet. After many failed attempts, girl agrees to go on a date with guy, who then says he would like to try out the Culver City hotel restaurant. (Now, to those who are unfamiliar with this hotel, it is quite upscale and fancy, has live lounge music and a New York City styled ambience — highly recommended, indeed).

Upon entering the restaurant, guy mentions he had a long day and isn’t too hungry. (Meanwhile, girl is ready to feast on a whole meal). The waiter comes, they order. He, a cocktail along with a caesar salad, and she, a rib eye steak with Santa Margherita white Italian wine. The food and drinks arrive, conversation ensues, and the girl indulges in every piece of that steak while it lasts.

And then it happened. The king of kings, the leader of the clan — the waiter arrives with the bill in hand. Guy takes out wallet and places card on the bill and awkwardly looks at his phone to “make a call” to his friend who had another place to recommend. Girl, who does the courteous gesture of reaching for her wallet thinking she’d get the typical reaction of “don’t worry about it,” or “it’s on me,” ends up taking her card out and placing it alongside his, with a response of  “should we split it?” following shortly after.

The Rules of Dating

They say that the French have mastered the language of love–I beg to differ. And the events of this night only prove this theory to be untrue. The scenario described above is one of the many common occurrences on the list of 2016 dating challenges.

So to the men in the audience, I leave you with the following: Even if you lose interest or don’t see a future with the gal, or the date happens to go all wrong, it is still your duty to fulfill your role as a gentleman.

Don’t select an upscale restaurant, arrive 15 minutes late, come with no appetite, and then act awkward when the bill arrives and I make the move to grab my wallet. Make sure the date ends with a soft aftertaste!

(And then they ask me why I’m still single…)

Until the next one-

Yours Truly,

Nomad